The Night Victoria Went Rogue: A Hilarious Adventure of Rebellion and Regret

Welcome to this week's Blog Post, where the ever-creative David Lake regales us with his latest Regal tale.

The Night Victoria Went Rogue: A Hilarious Adventure of Rebellion and Regret

Victoria had finally had enough. Enough of the stuffy concerts, enough of the stiff-upper-lip decorum, and most definitely enough of Brahms. So, in an act of pure, exhilarating rebellion, she sold her concert ticket to none other than William Ewart Gladstone, at double the price, no less. (Victoria may have been many things, but she was never one to pass up a good deal.)

With her newfound riches, she sauntered off to her room and prepared for a night of glorious anarchy. Out came the eight-eye leather Dr. Martens, the black spiked dog collar, and the flowing black frock. Black eye makeup was smeared on with the enthusiasm of an overexcited raccoon, lips were lined and filled with the darkest gloss imaginable, and, for good measure, she rubbed charcoal into her hair.

Satisfied with her transformation, Victoria strode out into the night, heading straight for a rave so wild that even the shadows had second thoughts about being there.

The rave was everything she’d hoped for. Loud, chaotic, and teeming with questionable dance moves. It had all been going relatively well until a well-meaning, slightly inebriated gentleman attempted to deliver a second bottle of white wine to her but tragically misjudged the stairs. Down he went, limbs flailing like a particularly distressed albatross.

The crowd gasped, the DJ scratched his record, but miraculously, the bottle survived. Unfortunately, his leg did not.

Never one to waste an opportunity (or a bottle of wine), Victoria accepted the slightly shaken but intact beverage. Popping the cork with an unceremonious pop, she took a hearty swig. To her surprise, the wine was still fizzy, most likely aerated from the tumble. She eyed the fallen hero, a faint flicker of recognition dancing in her mind.

"It’s Champ, ain’t it?" she mused aloud.

"Yeah," he wheezed from the floor.

As he hobbled off, Victoria took another sip and thought, You know what? I might name a bottle after him. Maybe with a bit of a wordplay twist… And thus, an iconic name was born. 🍾✨